10 Signs you Suck at Self-Management

Most could say that we grew up with parents or invested adults telling us what to do. Clean your room, eat your veggies, don’t waste your money, organize  your time. It’s no secret that most of the conflict that parents have with their children is in the area of discipline with the purpose of teaching them self-management. Most good parents want their kids to thrive and become independent and successful at life.

Growing up you may argue with your parents while you are under their roof but there comes a day when you will have to take what you’ve learned and venture out on your own.

Those who have ignored their parents advice flounder and struggle to achieve a plan to take care of themselves. Some figure it out while others seem to go through their whole lives filled with bad habits and destructive cycles.

You might be thinking that’s not a big deal. Many people don’t care if they don’t know how to manage themselves.

And..you probably won’t care before you reach twenty-five years of age because largely these bad habits only directly affect your own life after you get a job or you get into a relationship. You probably won’t feel the after affects of most of your decisions until later in life either. When that day comes it’s not so easy to ignore anymore.

Here are a 10 signs you suck in the area of self-management

  1. You have bad habits with money-you’re in consumer debt, you spend everything you make or you never save
  2. Your living area is usually messy
  3. You regularly eat badly and don’t exercise
  4. You are unreliable at work/school
  5. You are consistently late handing in assignments
  6. You have no plans for your life outside of the present
  7. You are an adult that expects others to take care of you
  8. You have bad time management skills
  9. You have a play first work later attitude
  10. You don’t take correction from well meaning people

Of course all of us have at some point in time been guilty of some of the above list. I think it’s important to remember that the problem lies with consistently doing most of the things listed. (If you’re wondering about signs that you are great at self-management then just flip the list above so that everything is the opposite)

On the other side of the spectrum when we realize how great it feels to be in charge of our lives and to finally get things on track through self-management, we can’t help but feel great about ourselves.  We take pictures of ourselves eating well, exercising and brag about our schedules. We must share our success with friends.

Masters at self-management become masters at life

That’s why I focus on self-management for young women throughout much of my new book. The truth is that those who are better at managing the different areas of their lives build up good habits and those good habits build a successful life. This is beneficial to yourself, your future family and the community you live in.

I’m constantly searching to find ways to help my life become more efficient and to become better at managing myself. I think this needs to be a life long journey. As I’ve gotten older I’ve realized that I have to stay on top of my schedule in order to do the things I want to do. Life does not become less busy it just becomes different. Eating well, exercising, resting, and dreaming are all time consuming. One shifts from school responsibilities to work assignments and from focusing on building friendships to building family and then sometimes learning how to balance everything all at once!

When you’re young you feel invincible.You are confident that you will have the future you want simply because you want it and you believe the world will bend to your will.You know everything. As you age you realize you don’t know half as much as you thought you did so listening to parents, teachers and those that have gone before you will always be helpful to your life.


Nana Abraham is a speaker, youth activist and author of For Black Girls: The Shaping of a Young Woman– a handbook for life that discusses relevant issues for young women today.


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