Ideally, both partners should be prepared in all ways possible for and during a relationship if they are serious about the longevity and vitality of it.
We’ve seen the narrative played out over and over again of women trying to change the men they are with. We give women a lot of mixed messages. One minute we are telling them to not give up on their man and the next we are telling them they should never try to change another person. Both can be true to a certain degree and we need to use wisdom to figure it out.
Women aren’t universally the ones who mostly prepare although some might find it comes naturally. I’ve been speaking generally for the last two weeks but I know there are many circumstances where it is the other way around. Where the man might be the one who is holding everything together and the woman is the one who struggles with communicating her true emotions.
I do think as a society we have done women a disservice in making them believe they are in a deficit when it comes to relationships. Because of this, some women internalize breakups and swing to the belief that in most situations they did something wrong. If the man cheated, then we tell the woman she wasn’t giving the man enough attention. If he’s distant she might think she’s asked for too much and she needs to get a life and be less clingy. If she has a life, then she’s seen as too independent.
Listen to the messages you’ve heard people tell women through the years. Think about the scrutiny women are under. We women can be heard saying the very same oppressive words to other women. I know I’m not the only one who has heard someone tell a woman she is single because she is too picky.
One partner should never have to do all the emotional heavy lifting in a relationship. When a person prepares themselves in every way while waiting for a relationship- and finally gets into one they can have many moments of feeling unheard and misunderstood. Sometimes guys have no idea how much emotional turmoil a woman can be carrying trying to deal with their insensitivity or incapability to understand their needs.
Men do need to start taking this area of their lives more seriously before they enter relationships and when conflict happens both parties need to look deeper to see where there is room for growth.
Was I too hard on men in this series? What are some oppressive messages you have heard given to women? Let me know in the comments!