Are You a Safe Person? Part 1
Are you someone who can be trusted with a secret, or give advice but not be controlling or manipulative if someone doesn’t take it. Are you able to receive constructive criticism and be teachable without getting angry? Are you kind even when you are upset? Do you put yourself in others’ shoes and take on new perspectives? Are you forgiving? Empathetic? Are you protective and loving? Are you able to be objective about weaknesses in yourself and others? Are you willing to sacrifice for what is right?
These are some of the things I believe make a safe person. The kind of person who makes a good friend. I’ve known many safe people and I’ve known those that were the opposite of this.
There are people that will look for opportunities to tear you down and will never be happy for you if something is going well in your life. There are people who will use any chance to make fun of you and make you feel insecure or foolish. These people can be bullies and not even know that they are. Some know exactly what they are doing. Imagine being with someone and not feeling safe enough to have a thought out loud. Or not being safe enough to say how you feel or that they’ve made a comment to you that stung or triggered you? There are people who oppress and make you miserable just by being present.
We’ve all made some hurtful comments in life. I’m thankful I have friends that will tell me when I say something inappropriate or hurtful. I consider it a solidification of our authentic friendship when this occurs. I’m also thankful for their understanding and forgiveness of my mistakes. When I’m with people like this I feel safe enough to make mistakes.
How can you be aware when you’re doing something that hurts someone else? Pay attention to their reactions and if you are not sure ask them if what you said was rude, hurtful or made them uncomfortable. Be willing to apologize quickly if you have offended someone.
There are those who may never tell you when you do something that is hurtful. They will just disappear from your life and you are left wondering why.
There are others still who will accuse you of everything under the sun because they are projecting things that they are experiencing onto you. Friendships can be so hard to navigate. Being someone who is able to listen, validate and create healthy boundaries will protect you and allow you to be a safe person for others.
To be continued.