I’m kind of disappointed that this is actually still a question. The question “Why do black men love white women?” is in and of itself and offensive question. Not all black men are particularly attracted to white women. White women are not black men’s kryptonite as some comedic movies would have us believe. Why am I bringing this up? Good question! This has come up a lot in my life and had a resurgence last week.
So my hope is that this series will bring the conversation to this topic in a healthy way. I want to look at some of the popular negative reasons why a black man might love a white woman and probably why there has been so much negative attention on it. I think as a disclaimer I should start by saying that although I grew up with many black men, brothers and cousins, that my perspective is only my perspective and is not the end all be all on this topic.
The acceptance of this question “Why do black men love white women?” shows that even though people talk about being colourblind and open-minded that we haven’t come as far as we think. The depth of this question is beyond where I seriously want to venture so I’m going to go at this only from my perspective and thoughts. There are a lot of articles, videos and books written on this topic so I only need to share from my own soapbox for now.
The reason I’m disappointed with this question is that I feel that the black community is always under so much scrutiny. As a black woman, I’ve felt the pressure of having to defend what I see around me. There is attention given to what are we doing, how are we spending money, what are our relationships like, who do we love or hate. Maybe a lot of these questions have come from the black community itself but why?
Was this relationship question made to explain something that wasn’t seen as normal enough to just accept? I ask this question because here in 2016 there are a plethora of interracial relationships. I’m part of one. But the other questions are never asked. What about all the other ethnicities that are in relationship with each other. Why is who black men date such a popular topic for scrutiny? It’s probably because that’s where the focus is in the media.
There are many reasons why a black man might love a white woman. I’m hoping it’s for the simple fact that he fell in love with who she was – her personality, strength and beauty. If that is the reason he loves her then that is the best reason and should be accepted without question of ulterior motives. No one could hope for anything more in a relationship.
No one should have a problem with that. As a black woman, I have no problem with that. I have grown up seeing the beauty in every ethnicity. I also married an Indian guy. I think that if people have a problem with interracial dating it’s because they have been raised to see it as a problem.
If someone is dating a person because of their body parts, skin colour or image in any way then that is not a relationship. It is a fetish. That goes across the board for any ethnicity. (To be continued)